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Two fraternity pledges go to a sleazy bar in search of a stripper for their college friends, unaware it is occupied by vampires.
When a group of naive teens working at a movie theater in a small Christian town discover a mysterious film hidden in its basement, they unleash an alluring succubus who gives them a sex education…written in blood.
The film follows a petty rock band called the Winners, consisting of vocalist Joey Winner, bassist Jennifer, guitarist Tyler, drummer Sam, and French-Canadian roadie Hugo, along with their sleazy manager Jeff, as they tour across Canada and the USA after Jennifer is turned into a vampire by Queeny. Meanwhile, a vampire hunter who is afraid of the dark named Eddie Van Helsing quickly chases them down.
Hazel runs a beauty salon out of her house, but makes extra money by providing ruthless women the oppurtunity to perform hit jobs. L.T. is a parasite, and contacts Hazel looking for work after he runs out of money. She is reluctant to use him for a hit, since she prefers using women, but decides to try him on a trial basis. Meanwhile, the cop she pays off wants an arrest to make it look like he's doing his job, but Hazel doesn't want to sacrifice any of her "associates". The sleazy side of life is explored in this delightfully dark and deadpan film.
The Cavalcade of Perversion, a traveling freak show, acts as a front for Divine, who is out for blood after discovering her lover's affair.
Private eye Rafe Guttman is hired by repressed, born-again Katherine to find her missing bad-boy brother. The trail leads him to a whorehouse run by a thousand-year-old vampire and secretly backed by Katherine's boss, televangelist Jimmy Current.
Ash Williams and his girlfriend Linda find a log cabin in the woods with a voice recording from an archeologist who had recorded himself reciting ancient chants from "The Book of the Dead." As they play the recording an evil power is unleashed taking over Linda's body.
When an archaeologist uncovers a strange skull in a foreign land, the residents of a nearby town begin to disappear, leading to further inexplicable occurrences.
Brandon prepares to give his last stand-up comedy show. As his stories and jokes pass, the public begins to cheer up. But at that precise moment Brandon will realize that these stories have a strong relationship with his past. More than he imagines.
When their car breaks down, a couple on the run headed southbound for a fresh start in the Sunshine State break into a nearby house looking for a new set of wheels. What they find instead is a dark secret, and a sweet-as-pie pair of homeowners who will do anything to keep it from getting out.