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In Haven Hospital, a certain men's ward is causing more havoc than the whole hospital altogether. The formidable Matron's debut gives everyone a chill every time she walks past, with only Reckitt standing up to her. There's a colonel who's a constant nuisance, a bumbling nurse, a romance between Ted York and Nurse Denton, and Bell wants his bunion removed straight away, so after a couple of pints, the men decide to remove the bunion themselves!
Stodge City is in the grip of the Rumpo Kid and his gang. Mistaken identity again takes a hand as a 'sanitary engineer' named Marshal P. Knutt is mistaken for a law marshal. Being the conscientious sort, Marshal tries to help the town get rid of Rumpo, and a showdown is inevitable. Marshal has two aids—revenge-seeking Annie Oakley and his sanitary expertise.
Sergeant Grimshawe wants to retire in the flush of success by winning the Star Squad prize with his very last platoon of newly called-up National Servicemen. But a motley bunch they turn out to be, and it's up to Grimshawe to put the no-hopers through their paces.
The sinister Dr. Watt has an evil scheme going—he's kidnapping beautiful young women and turning them into mannequins to sell to local stores. Fortunately for him, Detective Sergeant Bung is on the case, and he doesn't have a clue!
At WC Boggs' Lavatory factory, Vic Spanner is the union representative who calls a strike at the drop of a hat. However, eventually everyone gets fed up with him.
A gang of thieves plan to make their fortune by stealing a shipment of contraceptive pills from Finisham maternity hospital. They assume disguises and infiltrate the hospital, but everything doesn't go according to plan. The hypochondriac consultant Sir Bernard Cutting, Matron and the doctors and nurses at Finisham have a habit of getting in the way.
A group of holidaymakers head for the Spanish resort of Elsbels for a 4-day visit. When they get there, they find the Hotel still hasn't been finished being built, and the weather is awful. And there is something strange about the staff—they all look very similar. To top it all off, the weather seems to be having an adverse affect on the Hotel's foundations.
Henry VIII has just married Marie of Normandy, and is eager to consummate their marriage. Unfortunately for Henry, she is always eating garlic, and refuses to stop. Deciding to get rid of her in his usual manner, Henry has to find some way of doing it without provoking war with Marie's cousin, the King of France. Perhaps if she had an affair...
The Wedded Bliss computer dating agency aims to bring together the lonely hearts of Much-Snoggin-in-the-Green. Its owner, Sidney Bliss, has enough complications in his own love life, but still produces a pamphlet called 'The Wit to Woo'. The strange collection of hopefuls lead to some outlandish matches—and jealousies are bound to lead to trouble.
After a bunch of no-hopers approaches an employment agency, the anarchy mounts as they do a series of odd jobs, including a chimp's tea party, trying to stay sober at a wine tasting… and demolishing a house.