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Little Europe, a town in the American West, is chosen as the site for a European Music Festival to be internationally broadcast via television. The peace of the village is put in jeopardy when it comes to electing judges because the dormant antagonisms of the descendants of Italian, Spanish, French and Germans will be awakened, but the good sheriff easily resolves the dispute. Then the problem becomes more acute when the lawyer Betty, a comely young lady, who is late in coming to the event because she was seized by the henchmen of an industry bully who wants to influence the victory of one of his favorite songs.
Senator Pupis feels a strong and uncontrollable urge to grab women's bottoms, a habit than can lead to embarrassment, especially if the woman in question is head of another state and the occasion a state visit. In his desperation Pupis turns to the clergy for spiritual and psychological help.
Medieval soldier of fortune Ettore is traveling through Europe with his partners looking for a fight where they can earn some money. When they come across a Spanish castle under siege by the French army, Ettore bides his time to determine which side is the winning one. This is at first the French, but the treatment he receives from them is unpleasant enough to make him change his mind and turn to the Spanish side. Somehow, Ettore must rally the weakened Spanish troops to battle their enemy long enough for reinforcements to arrive.
International man of mystery Diabolik and his sensuous lover Eva Kant pull off heist after heist, all while European cops led by Inspector Ginko and envious mobsters led by Ralph Valmont are closing in on them.